Growing Up.

time; it has a beautiful way of showing us what really matters.

Growing up, we took many things around us for granted. You might have thought that things always come easy, that people around you are always kind and that you’ll always have food on the table. But never have you thought that all that you had, was because of the people who loves you.

As a child, you were well sheltered and protected from all the things that could possibly hurt you. So much that you may have hated them for choosing your paths on your behalf, and for making certain decisions without your knowledge. But often, there is only this much that you could see. Beneath that, are things that no one would ever tell you as a child.

But as you grow, you start realising why they do what they did, and why they say what they said.

They told you to stop seeing a particular someone not because you’re too young for a relationship, but because they are trying to save you from a heartbreak.

They told you to stop hanging out with the same group of friends not because they don’t like you socialising, but because they are trying to protect you from the bad influences.

They told you to study hard to enter college not only because they could be proud of you, but because they want the best for you and they want to see you lead a comfortable life.

They want you to challenge yourself and be independent not so that they no longer have to worry, but because they are worried that you won’t be able to deal with the real world without them.

All these things that they do, it’s only because they want to protect you from the unforeseen. They didn’t want you to go through what they did, see their darling making the same mistakes they made and get hurt the same way they were. All these things that they do, they are simply telling you that they love you. Because no matter how much you’ve grown and how matured you have become, you will always be their gem.

And the thing you might not have realised about growing up is that, you will no longer be held in their arms and be guided through your every step. But they’d still do everything that leads you to your dreams. And little do you know is, they’ll always be your home to fall back on when things get rough.

Because in their eyes, you’ll always be their precious little one.

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One Day.

One day it’ll all piece together.
One day it’ll all come as one.
One day it’ll all make sense.

One day you’ll understand why you went through the toughest paths.

The pain that you went through as a child, the imbalanced emotions, deprived encouragements and helplessness you felt because there was nothing you could do to salvage situations. But as you grew up, it was those things that made you a stronger person. It was those experiences that made you accept vulnerability. It was those times that made you want to help others relieve themselves from powerless situations. Simply, you wish that no one else should and would go through what you went through — because it wasn’t easy, and that not everyone will come out fine like you did.

One day you’ll see how far you’ve come and be proud.

The number of times you failed, the people you lost and the paths you chose only to realize that they were all dead ends. There will come a day when you finally understand that all paths lead to different destinations, and that there is no best route to embark on. And perhaps, you will never have answers to all that mattered, but that is okay. Because life is about the chase, it is about navigating through the unnavigable and each step forward is enlightening. So Darling, every wrong turn and every wrong step will do you no harm but only to deepen your beautiful story.

One day you’ll understand that things doesn’t always go your way.

The things that you prayed for weren’t answered, your expectations were not fulfilled and you probably empathised with others more than they did with you. Well, not everyone shines through the dark, and definitely not everyone sees the same light as you. But be sure, there will come a day where you will find happiness in the little things you can do for them. And on that day, you would realise that it is okay if things aren’t as planned, and not all routes lead to the destinations that you’ve taken off for.

One day you’ll realise that you just haven’t found your person and be glad.

The person whom you thought is the love of your life, the one who could walk down the aisle with you, left without saying a word. This person became nobody overnight. And yes, the healing process wouldn’t be easy, no one ever said it will be. But things will take a turn eventually, and when you get there one day, you’ll finally understand why it turned out that way. And maybe then, you just haven’t found your person.

One day, you’ll understand why everyone else left. When that day arrives, you’ll be the reason why someone stays. You’ll be the reason someone believes again. You’ll be the person they thought they’d never find. You’ll be their fight and they’ll do anything to keep you. One day, you’ll be the person they choose over and over again. And on that day, it will be the right kind of happiness that you deserve.

And one day, you’ll see beneath your beautiful. Then maybe, you’ll finally learn to love yourself and be contented with the things that made you who you are.

A Letter To My Children In The Future.

Darlings, here are Mom’s promises to you:

I promise that I will be there to witness every step while you grow and become a person filled with passion, love and dreams. 

I promise to never stop supporting and encouraging you when you’re making life’s toughest decisions. I’ll be there; through your stressful college periods, and getting you through those pre-marriage anxieties. 

I promise that when life gets tough, home will always be your shelter from all storms. Because Mom will always be the person whom you can fall back on, and that i’ll be backing you up at all costs.

And I promise that I will be the person hearing you out when you need someone to talk to. Although I might not be able to give you the best advice or be your best listening ear, but I hope to be the person relieving you from the complicated world. 

Sure, one day you will find your very own sweetheart like I did, I know you will. And there will come a day when you would no longer need me like you do when you were younger. But remember that I’ll always be here, and i’ll always love you.

With all my heart. xx

Thank You Mum.

You are one strong and passionate woman who never lets opportunities slip away. You have big dreams and limitless ambitions; often too much that suffocates me.

But, you love us. You love us with all your heart.

And if you ever see this, this is what i’d say to you:

Mum, I want you to know that I love you too, I really do.

But, you might not like hearing this. When I was younger, there never seem to be a thing I do that you’d approve of. I felt that I constantly needed validation from you.

I hated it because it made me felt weak. Inferior. And your words of disapproval are the last things that I needed to hear when I failed; in times when I lacked encouragement.

Truth is, after all these years, we still never really agreed on things. But, I am thankful. Because if not for you, those criticisms would be coming from others. If not for you, I wouldn’t be what I am today.

So, thank you mum.
Thank you for building a strong woman.
Thank you for teaching me that life is always about the chase.
Thank you for shaping my confidence.
Thank you for my independence.
Thank you for everything that I am.

Today, I am thankful because I no longer seek validation from others. I no longer try to please everyone by being what I’m not. I no longer try to seek a common ground with everyone. Because all of us are different, all of us have different values and opinions.

And because of you, I’d grown to be opinionated. I learnt to be contented. I learnt to be confident in what I do and choose. I stuck close to my values. With that, I am happy to be pursuing my passions in life.

I hope you are proud of me, because all that I am today, I owe it to you Mum. Thank you.

Love,
Your beloved daughter

Read This If Your Family Broke Apart.

Fret not. Even if things doesn’t seem fine for you right now, they will be. One day, you would understand that your parents did everything they could to save their marriage and your family from breaking apart. But, there is only so much that they can do and it is often for the better.

Looking back, most of your time may be spent watching them having endless arguments. Anger. Disagreement. Violence. It must have been unpleasant to witness. Yet, there was nothing that you could do to help.

Gradually, you felt like no one could understand the circumstances you’re facing in your life, and neither could they think in your shoes. There, you started building an indestructible wall, so that you could save yourself from explanations and what not.

But soon enough, you realized that you are suppressing all your emotions by putting up a strong front, so that no one could see through your heart.

Well, people thought you were difficult. Withdrawn. Unfriendly. But in fact, you just needed your own space, so that no one will have to be bothered by your struggles.

Now, I want you to know that it is okay to talk about it. It is okay to allow yourself to let loose, share your fears and anxieties. Do not be afraid to open up.

I also need you to know that things will fall into place eventually, and everything will start afresh. Because then, you will see that everyone is in a better place. Happier.

I understand that there may be times of reminiscent, when you felt like you lost it all; all the good times you had as a family. But i want you to continue fighting for yourself, and that you’ll never let this bring you down.

Because you should never lose faith. Don’t allow yourself to.